My name is Vins Santiago, formerly known as Vinna Santiago-Robinson. About 11 years ago, I had a sex-change operation, which I then thought as perfect for me until I met Jesus. As I came to understand the love of Jesus fully, in my heart, I knew I was saved. I thought that was the end of it.

Little did I know that Jesus was too faithful to complete what he had started in me, he continued to redeem me from my sinful self as I grew stronger spiritually, knowing Him more through bible studies, cell group meetings and Sunday Worship.

As a child, the youngest of six, there was one question that pervaded my mind, that is, what have I done wrong? It seemed everything I did affected everyone around me in a negative way. This led me to withdraw, but where to? I felt so helplessly alone. So, I went with my friends from good, successful families to make my parents proud of me.

As years past, however, my effeminate tendencies started to show and so are my friends. To isolate me from bad company, my parents sent me to live at my aunt's place and made me preoccupy my time with voice lessons hoping a change of environment would help me get over this phase of my life, or so they thought.

Unfortunately, a 19-year-old male cousin took me to bed with him when I was 9. This made me feel good because someone gave me loving attention. As the wrong relationship progressed, this cousin treated me with contempt just like everybody else. Yet, I could not hate him for it because he was the only one to whom I seemed to matter, even perversely. I could not stand being alone again.

To withstand the confusion brought about by my life-situations, which I could not explain, at that point, I believed God made a mistake. I had to be a girl.
Years passed. I desired to be loved which I could not get from my family. So, I recklessly pursued what made me happy and took responsibility for my life. I tagged along with performing gay groups. The audience found me beautiful. This fueled my obsession to become a woman.

On March 11, 1986, I became a woman. Fantasies became realities. I wanted men to fight over me, Fall head over heals in love with me and marry me. I enjoyed seeing women cringe in dismay when beside me, I looked more gorgeous than they. I got what I wanted, had a husband named Steve, and lived abroad. Everything was me, myself, and I.

Then, I had a recurring dream of Jesus accepting me no matter what I have done. My six-years living with Steve did not work out either so it came to an end as I returned to the Philippines. I consulted people and priest, attending one bible study after another. At the same time, being successful in my career, I was determined for society to change its perception of my kind, that we had the right to exist just as we were.

On August 1995, I accepted Jesus into my life. I was tired of pretending to be better than everyone else as an intellectual, longing to be accepted and loved for who I was.

As I grew in my Christian life, I was moved to share Christ with others, particularly, those with the same struggles as mine. Still, to be credible, I myself had to be above reproach. Who would ever believe a sex-changed man could be godly, a man that was a spitting image of Eve? What a mockery to God's original creation!

After months of continuous bible studies, I learned about how God was pleased with Abraham's faith in giving up Isaac, his son, who was most precious to him. As I read verse, by verse, there was so much pain in my heart as if I was Abraham giving away what was also precious to me - the sham of my womanhood. I was willing to sacrifice anything to God, but how? I had altered my body irreversibly and complete restoration to physiological normalcy is impossible. Yet, I honestly believe that my manhood was God's original creation for me. Painfully, letting go of my silky hair, cut after cut. I had my hourglass figure undergo surgery, as my response to God's love.

This physical change is but the first step. Phil. 1:6 says that He Who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. This is where the pain of true surgery still is happening as I allow the Lord to make incisions in my soul to expose all my self-centeredness and bring me to further repentance.

Many times, I still feel seemingly alone until I realize that I have the comfort of God's Presence through His Holy Spirit and always experience that He alone Is enough.
Psalm 73:25-26,28 speak of what I am currently going through. "Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever... as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge..."

For all whom I have burdened and prayed for me, thank you. Truly, God answers prayers.